The chances of playing in the NHL is so slim that you probably have more chance of striking gold in your bathtub, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to make it however, it just means that at a 0.16 percent chance of being drafted and then only a 0.02 percent chance of playing, the odds are very much against you.
That’s why most of us choose to stay at home and live out our dreams through video games with our friends and a whole batch of alcohol!
EASHL is a game mode that was implemented on the last generation of consoles and is a way to play with your friends in a similar way to ‘Pro Clubs’ on FIFA.
Each player controls their own custom character and you work together in teams ranging from 2 to 6 (including manual goalkeeper) and go about taking on the worlds best.
Today I have the fortune, or misfortune whichever way you look at it, of interviewing my very own team-mates.
This is the Manchester Storm EASHL (EA Sports Hockey League) team.
Alright boys, behave yourself now we’re read by all ages!
Jamie – Better get that sensor button out then
When did you all start playing NHL and how did you join the Storm?
Kimm – 2013 I think, me and Shaft began the team and ended up with this group of specials.
Smog – I started with NHL 14, teamed up with a group of try-hards and then searched out a Storm team.
Shaft – I started in 2013 and helped start the team with Kimm.
Jamie – I joined in late 2017, was playing hockey a bit as a kid.
Dino – I started playing back on the Megadrive… I’m proper old… I got bored one night while drinking and ended up on the team, I remember Kimm asking me to sniff a rag and then I woke up in a van… I still haven’t seen those puppies.
Jonesy – Wait, this is a team?
What position and role do you play in the team?
Kimm – I’m the fragile glue that holds these idiots together, I skate around and hit as many people as I can. Instigator I guess would be my role! I play wing.
Shaft – I play wing.
Smog – I play defense, I build myself as big as I can and I make sure I crush everyone that comes near me. Revenge is sweet!
Jamie – I play defender with Smog.
Dino – I’m the center, I play both ways because I am greedy.
Kimm- Both ways eh?
Dino – Absolutely, fill the slot.
Jonesy – I play with myself…
How long have you been with the team?
Kimm and Shaft – Since day 1, we co-founded the club!
Smog – I joined up a few weeks after 14 launched, about 4 years ago or so.
Jamie – 2 years, I think I’m the newest member?
Dino – Yeah and we can’t get rid of you now!
Jamie – *expletive*
Dino – I joined up around Christmas 2014, first team I ever played for and wouldn’t go to another… On my main account…
Kimm – What?
Dino – Nothing.
Jonesy – Anyone know what time Tesco shuts?
Who is your favorite player and team?
Kimm – My Favorite player of all-time is Frankie Pietranglo because he’s amazing and he gave me his stick!
Dino – Yeah I bet he gave you his ‘Stick’
Jamie – Did he give you his ‘Wood’?
Smog- Was it long?
Kimm – *expletive*
Shaft – My Favorite team is the Manchester Storm and I absolutely love Thomas the Tank Engine.
**Whole team lets the comment pass**
Smog – Chara is a legend, I model my game around his hitting and the Bruins are my team.
Jamie – Anaheim would have to be my team because I love the Mighty Ducks movies, my favorite player is Phil Kessel, dump truck with pace.
Dino – I’ve been a Blackhawks fan since I was a tiny kid and stay by them through thick and thin… Mostly thick… Favourite player is too hard to choose, I would say Gretzky and Me. Seriously, I was such a brilliant player, I could teach these young ones a thing or two.
Jonesy – …
Dino – Isn’t your favourite team Philadelphia Jonesy?
Kimm – Yeah don’t you like that Giroux?
Smog – I thought it was Lindros?
Jonesy – I actually hate you all.
Do you have any funny nicknames?
It was at this point in the interview that I took it upon myself to tell you what everyone’s nickname actually is in brackets…
Kimm – My nickname is Kimmadim, there’s no real story behind it (Scoutmaster)
Shaft – Shafty the Tank Engine
Smog – I’m called Smog because we are locally referred to as Smoggies in Middlesbrough.
Dino – Smoggies? Are they like doggers?
Smog – No the town has always been an area of heavy industry, plenty of smoke, hence Smoggies… There’s also plenty of dogging! (The Kahlua Kid)
Jamie – My nickname is the Raccoon but I have a sneaking suspicion there will be something else written (He would be absolutely correct, Father Jamie)
Dino – I’ve got far too many that are unprintable, more friendly ones are The Wedding Crasher / Sherbet / Alcoholic… Nobhead?
Jonesy – Baaaaaaaaaaaabara
What has been your favorite moment playing for the Storm?
Kimm – There are two moments that stand out, the first was back on NHL 14 when we got over 100 hits in a game, we’ve come close a few times but never topped it. The other is when we beat a fan made team of the Sheffield Steelers and they disbanded after we stuffed them!
Jamie – I remember watching that on YouTube live! My favorite moment is when we took on an “Overconfident” group and put them to the sword in the first period we had them down by 4 and they were accidentally disconnecting!
Smog – Best moment was winning the playoffs!
Shaft – The best time I ever had was beating the French national team, that was a great match!
Dino – Yeah the banter before the game was almost as good as the game itself!
Jonesy – The night we discussed the most offensive jokes about…
**Group quickly shushes Jonesy and moves on**
Dino – I haven’t really got a favorite moment, I am just really proud of the way we have all come together as a team over the years, we went from winning absolutely nothing and being a laughing-stock that just battered people and got penalties to a division 1 team that takes home titles for fun. Doesn’t get any better than that really!
Kimm – Yeah that’s pretty cool.
Dino – Although smashing that smug little *expletive* that kept sending me messages was pretty amazing, WHO’S LAUGHING NOW KEVIN_ROMY_88? Not so clever when you’re getting absolutely mullered are you?
Who is your favorite Spice Girl?
Kimm – Mel C because she understands the offside rule!
Dino – And because she’s a man?
Kimm – I still would…
Jamie – I can’t remember the names of them, the one with the ginger hair and the airbags.
Smog – I like a nice bit of Posh!
Dino – I like a bit of baby… Hang on, that came out seriously wrong!
Shaft – I’ll take Beyoncé.
Who is the trouble maker of the team?
Kimm – It’s a tough one because we all like to start trouble, haft does always seem to get into fights though…
Jamie – Yeah we don’t have ONE, we all like to cause grief!
Smog – Trouble maker for the team? EVERYONE, bunch of animals the lot of them!
Shaft – Definitely Smog, he’s a tank!
Dino – It’s Shaft, without a doubt. I have never seen anyone get so many fights, he’s a magnet for scrapping!
Jonesy – Jamie, he can’t keep off the kids…
Alright, that’s enough of that!!!
Thank you to the Manchester Storm EASHL team, 11-time division 1 champions and all round fantastic blokes. Without them I wouldn’t have gotten through life as well as I have, this is more a thank you to them for being amazing friends and for always having my back through thick and thin, I know I can always count on you guys.
If you’re interested in playing EASHL or Ice Hockey in general then NHL 19 is currently available for XBox One and Playstation 4, well worth a grab if you want a bit of fun banter!